Wednesday, June 28, 2006
  Keep the Yellow Pages Handy

We got the TV Guide delivered to out door for years. Once it was our TV Bible. Then came cable, which gave way to satellite, both of which offer access to program schedules with the click of the remote control. We kept renewing the TV Guide , even though it basically went from the mailbox to the recycling pile without being used every week. Just a habit. I finally cancelled it . Technology has changed a lot of my habits. I pay my bills online, carry photos of my grandson on a portable digital frame, and while I still read the daily newspaper ( a habit I doubt I will ever break) most of the time I have already seen the same news stories on my browser. I never use the yellow or white pages to find a phone number either. I much prefer to look it up online, if for no other reason than the print is bigger! Good thing I didn't throw out the phone books though.Last night the Cutie Patootie was here for dinner. He ignored his booster seat and climbed up on a regular chair. It was almost a perfect fit, just needing a slight adjusment. Those yellow pages came in handy for something.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006
  Pest Post

Everyday I leave work to find that the "Psychic Reader" has had one of her minions slip an advertisement under my driver's side windshield wiper blade. And every day I remove it and add it to the growing pile in the car that I mean to dispose of. If she were all that psychic she would know that a)advertisements on my windshield really tick me off, and b) I have no intention of stopping in for a reading.

Today I did manage to thwart another annoying trespasser . Derek, who was going door-to-door, not selling anything, but rather was marketing a home alarm system was unable to physically get close enough to get his foot in the door. All it took was an 18 month old with a garden hose. Who neeeds an alarm?

Sunday, June 18, 2006
  A Father's Day Post

Happy Father's Day Sarcasdad, Sarcasbro, and to all the Dads.

This is a three-peat. I read it over before deciding what to post for today, and decided it is just what I want to say. So as they say on one network or another-"If you haven't seen it, it's new to you"

Abu el Banat

This is a Father's Day post. Really. Just stick with it.
One of my favorite episodes of The West Wing aired in December 2003. All President Jeb Bartlett desires for the holiday, besides peace on earth, is to have his family gather together for a traditional Christmas Eve meal. His family. His wife and his three daughters. As the show progresses it becomes clear that while he may lead the free world and command the armed forces, his daughters will do as they please. One puts her job ahead of family plans and is constantly delayed. By the time she is finally in route another daughter is packing to leave because she feels her husband has been slighted. When the First Lady suggests that things aren't going as planned the President tells her

"That's okay, I have a picture in my wallet of the three girls together in Acadia in '96...."

Later he tells another staffer:

"...fifteen years ago we took a trip to Egypt. All five of us Saw the Pyramids and Luxor and then headed up into the Sinai. We had a guide, a Bedouin man, who called me 'Abu el Banat'. And whenever we'd meet another Bedouin, he'd introduce me as Abu el Banat. And the Bedouin would laugh and laugh and offer me a cup of tea. And I'd go to pay them for the tea and they wouldn't let me. 'Abu el Banat' means 'Father of daughters' They thought the tea was the least they could do."

So Happy Father's Day to my husband. "Abu el Banat". He left a male dominated household for a world of strawberry shortcake, prom dresses and male bashing. He probably knows more about women , I mean real women,. than Hugh Hefner. And on the flip side his daughters know how to judge a man.

Apparently there were no Bedouins in earshot when three little girls would run to the door yelling "Daddy's home!"
Who needs tea?

"Dad, Kelly and I borrowed a car to move and it's stuck in the middle of the street. What should we do?"(the car and the girls were in Pittsburgh and we were in Philadelphia.)

"Guys suck! But not you dad. Because you're not a guy you're a Dad"

" Dad. You can not call a girl dressed to go to the Sophmore formal Shorty!'

Thursday, June 15, 2006
  The Coughing, Sniffling, Sneezing, So You Can Be Awake All Night Medicine

Here at the Sarcas-house we view pain relieving medication much like an insurance policy. We buy it, but we hope never to have to use it. A bottle of asprin like tablets ( I don't know an Nsaid from an Ibuprofen) is more likely to expire with it's safety seal intact than to be used up around here. So on Monday morning when it became clear that a cold had taken root in my head, and that assistance may be required to hold said head upright through the workday, I rooted around in the "medicine" cabinet. I found a box of Big Name Brand Severe Cold Formula, still in date with only one dose missing. Admittedly, my cold was not severe and I know you aren't supposed to take medication for symptoms you don't have, but it was handy and I had more than half of the symptoms listed , so I tore off a square and popped the pills inside. This would be a good time to mention that while I am well aware that packaging for such products needs to be child proof, the ability to "fold back corner to open packet" is much more difficult than it sounds when your head feels like it's wrapped in cotton and your eyes are watering and your nose is running. It was the Non- drowsy version of the remedy. This was important to me because I would be operating heavy machinery in my quest to get to work. And once there I needed to stay awake. Anyway, the little blue pills did their magic and I felt pretty good. Actually I felt pretty good all the way through Wednesday, even though it's only supposed to be a 6 hour dose. Maybe because I don't take medicine often, I feel the effects of it quickly, and intensely. Once I was looking for some pain relief and I found a sample that had come in the mail. It had a "PM' in it's name. It was really a good thing I was already on the second floor when I took it . I made a mental note that should I be so inclined to do so again, I should already be in bed before indulging.
Last night the cold made it's presence known by waking me up before midnight. I decided it would be worth getting up and taking a couple more of those little blue pills that had worked so well before. I did so, got back in bed, and went back to sleep. Butt not for long. I woke up again in the wee morning hours. I felt fine. No sign of the cold symptoms. But I was WIDE awake. I tried to fall back asleep. I stopped trying to get back to sleep. I tried to fool myself that I was asleep. Nothing worked. My mind was racing. I heard the grandfather clock in the living room passing the time on the quarter hour. The first time I heard it mark the hour it only chimed 3 times. So apparently when the box says "non-drowsy" it doesn't mean it will keep you from feeling sleepy. It means it will keep you awake!
Hopefully I won't nod off during anything important today. I would hate for............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Thursday, June 08, 2006
  Dutch Spoken Here

Last night Sarcasis asked if she should be concerned that the Cutie Patootie says "boo" instead of "moo" when you ask him what sound a cow makes. We assured the girl who once warned me quite sternly not to laugh and then asked if we were having "roast beef" or "roast beast" for dinner, that such mispronunciations are common when you are 17 months old.

This morning I was site surfing when I came across this link on this blog. It lists the words for animal sounds in different countries. Here is how a cow sounds around the world:


Afrikaans: moe-moe
Albanian: mu
Arabic (Algeria): mooooooo
Bengali: hamba
Catalan: muuuu
Chinese (Mandarin): mu mu
Croatian: muuuu
Danish: muh
Dutch: boeh
English: moo
English (Old English): Oxa hlewð.
Esperanto: muu
Estonian: muu
Finnish: ammuu
French: meuh
German: mmuuh
Greek: moo
Hebrew: moo
Hindi: mo:-mo:
Hungarian: bú
Icelandic: mu
Italian: muuuuuu
Japanese: moo
Korean: um-muuuu
Norwegian: mø
Polish: muuuuu
Portuguese: muuuu
Russian: muu
Slovene: muu-muu
Spanish (Spain, Argentina): muuu
Swedish: muu
Thai: maw maw (with mid tone)
Turkish: mooooo
Ukrainian: muuu

As you can see it is entirely possible that my grandson is speaking in Dutch or Hungarian. That would explain some other verbal exchanges I have had with him where he is clearly telling me something important and I am not grasping a word of it.

It also leads to these questions. Do animals "speak" differently in different countries? Do they have accents? Could we pick out a French duck in an American pond?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006
  Wedding Crasher

On my sidebar there was a little news teaser. It read "Oprah crashes......". Intrigued, especially after yesterdays news about Oprah buying a plane I clicked on the link. I was relieved to find out that no bodily harm had come to the daytime diva. Oprah crashed weddings. According to the article she showed up uninvited to two weddings in the Tulsa Oklahoma area, wearing a pink dress and hat. Not that Oprah could ever blend into a crowd but pink is not your basic black. At least she bought a gift. And a camera crew.

After being Mother -of -the Bride on 2 occasions, I am not sure how I would feel about that. Even the smallest weddings take more planning than some military maneuvers. Years later, what do you want your guests to remember?

I was at so- and- so's wedding and the bride was beautiful!


I was at so -and- so's wedding and Oprah crashed it!

I am sure there is some kind of protocol for this, and all kinds of legal forms to be signed for the footage to air. The people quoted in the article sound absolutely thrilled that they were graced with Oprah's presence, invited or not. I am a fan of Oprah. I admire her for what she has accomplished and for all the good she does with her celebrity. I'm still not sure I would be happy with her stealing the limelight on my daughter's big day.

What do you think? Good T.V. or bad manners?

Monday, June 05, 2006
  I Heard the News Today. Oh-Boy

On Friday night, Mother Nature treated us to a show of light and sound. It was the kind of thunderstorm you get when warm humid air meets a cooler current. It was the kind of weather you would never want to be out in, but get a vicarious thrill from when you are safe and dry inside. I was ensconced in my bed watching the curtains billowing and the lightening flashing. Eventually it lulled me to sleep.

On Saturday morning I turned on the news while getting ready for work. There is local news on all three major networks. It doesn't matter which one you tune into. All three have eye catching anchor desks manned by equally eye catching reporters, and an assortment of bright , energetic weather, traffic and feature reporters. We have our favorite and that was what was on.

Philadelphia is the fifth most populated city in the U.S.. Local news stations serve the Tri-State area which includes parts of New Jersey and Delaware as well. So there's lots of people, and therefore lots of news. Not all of it good, but more than enough to fill two hours or so in the morning until the national news comes on. Most mornings start off with a litany of the crimes and fires that took place overnight. This Saturday morning, the first story was about an unfortunate fatality. A man had been stuck by lightening as he tried to move his riding mower during the storm. The man's neighbors were interviewed and had plenty to say. Not about him, about the storm.

"Boy, the rain was really coming down"
"I was hiding under the covers"

My personal favorite was a man who did imitations. He said the thunder sounded like this "BOOM< BOOM< BOOM"! ( THe Cutie Patootie does that one too)

This went on for minutes. When that piece was over they changed the subject entirely. I am sure Philadelphians and all the Tri - Staters were shocked to find out that gas prices are high. This news flash was followed by the weather, and you guessed it, more about the storm the night before. It was somewhat pathetic when the meteorologist reported that residents of a local county thought they had endured a twister, but the National Weather service had not been impresssed enough to send someone to survey the damage. They said they would look at the pictures.*

By now we are 15 minutes into the newscast and I'm thinking that these poor anchor people could have slept in.

* It turns out it was a tornado, as certified by a representative of the National Weatrher Service who did indeed visit the area. It was given the weakest rating for such an event. The news was still talking about it on Sunday.

Sunday, June 04, 2006
  Yessir, That's My Baby

Dan Rubin has our dream job. He reports both online and in print about the local blogging community for the Philadelphia Inquirer. That's right, he blogs, and reads blogs , and gets paid for it. Since we all can't be that lucky, Mr. Rubin has picked five local blogs and their authors from the thousands that originate in this major metropolitan area. He says they are worth a mouse click because they have "originality, variety and verve ". Four of them are new to me, but one I know well. You may have paid her a visit or two already. He's right, she is definitely vervy.

Friday, June 02, 2006
  Please Excuse Sarcasmom

If you live in my neck of the woods you've probably had this very conversation with someone during the last few days:

"Hot enough for you ?"
"Well, you know. It's not the heat, it's the humidity"

Yes it is. It's hot and humid. Too humid to exert yourself. Too humid to blog. Or at least that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it. Along with work being crazy busy and spilling over into my personal time, despite my efforts to leave it in the building and leave the building on time. At home it seems like the list of things to do increases by several chores for everyone we tick off the list. Oh, and the dog ate my post. We don't have a dog but I figured that as long as I was throwing trite and hackneyed excuses at you, I would use them all. Actually I did produce a couple of posts over the last few days, but they never saw the light of the internet, because I deleted them. They just didn't say what I wanted them to. Both were composed after I consumed one more glass of wine than I usually do with dinner. Apparently I am not that interesting when I drink. One was about a trip to Target and how they call everyone a "guest" and I kept hearing that song from "Beauty and the Beast" in my head. In retrospect, you had to be there. The other was about how we didn't celebrate Memorial Day remembering anyone, which made me think of my Dad , which in turn made me think of how much he would have liked my SIL. Too bad they never met. That one just got too maudlin. Apparently I am not a happy drinker either.

To get you all up to speed on like with the Sarcas-family. Here is what has been keeping me from the keyboard. On Wednesday Sarcasdad and I celebrated 36 years of being together. We call it "the anniversary of our first date" but it really wasn't a date per se. We each went to a Memorial Day picnic on our own and come home a couple. That was the start of our life together. It is amazing to me how fast the time has gone. Sarcasdad marked the occasion extravagantly. As Sarcasis said to the Cutie Patootie-"Grandmom's got some new bling!"

We also booked a vacation. This one is real not virtual. Ahh, there is nothing like the promise of fun in the sun to get a girl serious about her diet. I packed my lunch today.

Last Saturday Sarcasmo, Sarcasis and the CP joined me in a trek to Bear Country to visirt Sarcasmo Jr. We had a great time. It was a long ride in the car seat for the CP, but he was a trooper. If he were telling you about the highlights of the day he woulld probably say he saw his Aunt, and some quack quacks and some gobble gobbles. We had lunch at a restaraunt where there was a basketball stuck to the wall, which was unbelievably fascinating. And we sang the "Ants Go Marching" song about eleventeen hundred times.

Now that I've finally got a new post up I'm going back to bed so the alarm clock won't go off and I can oversleep.

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